fifty two on fridays | week nineteen

“Sometimes when you pick up your child you can feel the map of your own bones beneath your hands,
or smell the scent of your skin in the nape of his neck.
This is the most extraordinary thing about motherhood -
finding a piece of yourself separate and apart that all the same you could not live without.”
- Jodi Picoult

WEEK 19 - MATERNAL

So often, I feel as though the role of Mother, especially stay-at-home mothers, is cast aside & seen as insignificant, unfulfilling, burdensome, & a life filled with eating bon bons & reading books. While sometimes this feels true, to be a mother is so much more than that! It is a blessing, the raising of the future generation. It is selfless love & sacrifice. It has its ups & downs. Days when I feel like I could curse & cry from frustration, where I feel like an utter failure & fear that my children will grow up to resent me. But then there are other days where the joy & happiness that flows through me because of my children & my role as their mother lifts me off the ground; I feel so alive & full of love, so light that my body threatens to float away. More than anything though, motherhood is the habit of the everydays. It is the simple moments of teaching, observing, encouraging, nurturing, letting your child experience both failure & success. It is patience, endurance, kindness. Time outs, cuddles, bedtime songs, digging in the dirt, dancing. It is a giant reward.

 

My years of infertility taught me to treasure my children when I might otherwise have resented the time & energy it takes to care for them. I know that to be a mother is a miracle. It is the most amazing, powerful thing a woman can do, whether through creating & growing life &/or caring for a life that has been entrusted to you. I am grateful for my role as mother & wouldn't give it up for anything.

Continue the circle by visiting Lisa at Lisa Tarplee Photography.

Sunday Nap

Scott got home from work to find this: Will woke up early yesterday morning, & after sleepily singing "Two Little Blackbirds" to him for 30 minutes, he finally fell asleep again. I love this sweet little guy. (the picture quality is terrible - it was taken on a phone in poor lighting, but I love it so much. I have pictures of me with my mom like this.)

Another Day at the Library

Carson getting ready for singing time - he's SO excited! ;)

Will eating the bells (don't worry, they clean them):Gettin' jiggy wit it (wow, that sounds dated):Tiffani & Carson:Me w/ my thrilled baby boy - it was past Will's nap time, but he still did remarkably well:

Nectarines and a Bath

William has been such a joy in my life. I love watching him experience new things (eating nectarines), as well as enjoy old things like he'll never grow tired of them (splashing in the bath). I wish I'd had a video camera handy when feeding William his lunch today. I gave him a bite of nectarine that even made me pucker a little. He looked so worried & concentrated while chewing the fruit - it was so tart that he'd shiver & shake his head to cope. I then put the nectarine in one of those mesh things for babies to chew food through, & his face practically turned inside out when he started sucking the juice out. He just kept shaking & puckering & caving his chest in while raising his shoulders & squinting his eyes then would open his mouth ready to try some more.
After his nectarine sampling, I thought it would be a grand idea to put him in the kitchen sink for a bath. This kid has been in the water so much already, but acts as though he's discovering it for the first time every time he gets in it again. He just sits there with his mouth wide open & makes monotone Ahhh, Ahhh, Ahhh sounds while splashing away - soaking everything in a three foot radius. I was soaked, the cabinets were soaked, the floor was soaked. I looked like I'd just gotten off a water ride at Disneyland. And he just sits there enjoying every second. Even the water splashing him hard in his eyes doesn't slow him down. He just keeps that mouth wide open with a goofy grin on his face & keeps splashing.
I love this boy - he makes me so proud to be his mama with how sweet & happy he is. I love watching his innocent joy in the simple things in life - it reminds me to step back, take a look at all the things I have to be grateful for, & enjoy.

Spending time with my boy

The other day it was beautiful outside, so I decided to take William out to play in the backyard. I turned the waterfall on, laid out a blanket w/ toys on it, & let William enjoy.He loves playing with his blocks from his aunt RachelHe's sitting up so much better on his own. (I love the pink flowers in the background.)He loves watching the waterfall:Love that little guy:And I think he loves me too.He's starting to lose his baby look & turn into a big boy.Making sure I'm still in the room - he doesn't like being left alone.Playing peek-a-boocomplaining:happy again:Eating sweet potatoes - I think they might be his favorite (even though the look on his face might not show it).